I am the proud mother of four. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to say? Truth is I am the mother of four. Not proud. Some days, I’m killing it (thanks to Adderall and a continuous flow of coffee…I’m not kidding… continuous). Other days, I am a complete and utter failure. It is difficult to teach little, distracted humans to be adult humans. I mean, I’m barely either most days.
Well, this day, was a fail. My fifteen-year-old boy is a ball of stress. He has the worst case of ADHD I have ever seen (except for his dad). The worst part is he painfully aware that he lags behind his peers. Most children with ADHD lag behind scholastically and socially about two years. My best estimate is his social skills and decision making skills (executive function) are 5 years behind. Still, I treat him the way a fifteen-year-old should be treated.
On this particular day, he was tasked with mowing the yard. He gets points he can cash in for screentime. He was enthusiastically trying to finish. He took his lovely iPhone with him to listen to music. This is where the stars aligned to cause the ultimate disaster.
While mowing the grass, his phone strategically fell from his pocket with such stealth that he did not notice. Then, he literally put the mower in reverse and mowed it into confetti. Battery smoking, phone literally shredded. He was crushed. He had been so proud that his phone had lasted for a year without the damage he felt we expected would occur.
As distressing as this really is, the fun did not stop there. Encouraged to finish mowing, he mowed over the shut off valve to the main water line. I always wanted a water garden. It just so happened I was showering and had my hair full of conditioner and one leg shaved.
My husband had most of the needed supplies on hand, luckily, from replacing the faulty plumbing that was piecemealed together from decades of ‘upgrades’ and add-ons. He shut the water off at the street and repaired the pipes. The repair took hours. I gave up on my shower that evening. There’s always tomorrow to rinse your hair right?
As for the phone, Verizon sent out a new one for only $200. Glad we paid all those years of insurance. But only after we mailed in the broken one. So, I had my son rake up the phonefetti, grass and all, and we shipped it off. I take a certain amount of joy imagining them opening that package.
Mommy Saves the World 